We Are Awesome
by FallingforWerewolves
Summary: "And what does everyone acting insane and totally out of character have to do with that?"  AU EWE Rated T for sexual innuendoes.  Dumbledore, Snape and Fred are still alive.


**A/N: I've seen a bunch of Harry Potter pictures with some rather ridiculous captions on them, so that's why you're reading this. In the beginning, you'll probably say that it should be put under parody, but there's a reason they're so OOC.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the pictures/quotes used as insperation. I did come up with Draco's Robe Song, along with my little sister.**

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><p>Hermione Granger was certain that everyone at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had gone completely mad! Why? Well, it all started in the Great Hall on a Friday morning in April.<p>

Hermione had just woken from a pleasant sleep with the odd feeling that she had forgotten something. She quickly shrugged the feeling off once she realized she had woken up late. She hurriedly got ready and rushed to the Great Hall for breakfast. Everyone else, including the professors, were already there; all of them blabbing on about something or other.

Hermione slid into her usual seat on the left of Ron.

"Hermione," he turned towards her and asked, "how many bones do you have in your body?"

"Um, two hundred and six," she replied warily, for it was not a question Ron would usually ask.

"You want one more?" he asked grinning cheekily.

Seriously offended by this remark, Hermione slapped Ron across the face (much like she had with Malfoy in thrid year). "How dare you say that?"

Before the redhead could answer, Draco Malfoy jumped on top of the Slytherin table, and to Hermione's horror, began singing his own personal parody of a well known Muggle song.

"I throw my wand up in the air sometimes, singing 'Ah-Oh'; my name is Draco!"

"What is going on?" Hermione asked turning to Harry. Unfortunately, whatever everyone else seemed to have caught (Hermione thought it was some kind of illness) Harry had as well.

"Look at your man, now back at me. Now back to your man, now back to me. Look down; look up. Where are you? You're on a broom. What's in my hand? Tickets to the Hogwarts Express on Platform nine and three quarters. Look again, they're now the Philosophers Stone. I'm on a Hippogriff."

"No, Harry," Hermione told him, incredibly confused and terrified at what was happening (whatever it was), "you're not on a Hippogriff. Nor do you have the Philospher's Stone or tickets to the Hogwarts Express. And there aren't any brooms around."

Professor Snape chose that moment to walk by and Ron tugged on his robes. Hermione expected Snape to explode or something.

"I liked the story about the button Snape," Ron announced.

_What story?_

Snape looked shocked. "You... you did?"

"It made me sad, thinking about that button, lost and alone," Ron continued. "I hope you find the button Snape."

"So do I, orange one. So do I." And with that, Snape made his way out of the Great Hall.

Ron turned back to his food. "I like buttons."

"What in the name of Merlin is happening?" Hermione nearly screeched.

"Hey, Ron," Harry said, totally ignoring Hermione. "I need to tell you something important."

Ron gave him a look that said _Go on._

Harry took a deep breath. "I licked your sandwich."

Ron screamed and ran out of the Great Hall.

Hermione swallowed nervously and followed his lead. Excluding the screaming and running. She heard Parvarti and Lavendar arguing rather heatedly over something.

"I'm telling you, Team Edward is the way to go," Parvarti snapped.

"But Jacob's so much better," Lavendar relied testily.

"How?"

"Well, for one he isn't covered in glitter!"

Parvarti nodded. "You've got a point there."

The bane of Hermione's existence came up and interrupted their conversation.

"Team Draco: for those who like the pale tormented emo look without all the fucking glitter."

"Malfoy, you do not have the 'pale tormented emo look'," Hermione stated.

He looked over at her with his oh-so-annoying smirk on his face. "I did in sixth year."

She couldn't exactly argue on that one. But that didn't mean Draco was sane at the moment. What happened next proved that.

"But I am, and always have been, too sexy for my robes." And with that he started dancing down the hall singing "I'm too sexy for my robes" at the top of his lungs.

"Has everyone gone insane?" Hermione yelled, but no one payed her the slightest attention.

She rolled her eyes and made her way to her first period class. Double Potions with the Slytherins. Oh joy of joyful joys.

As soon as Hermione sat down next to him, Neville turned to her and said "I know why Voldemort was bald!"

She knew this couldn't end well, but he was going to tell her anyway.

"Why was he bald, Neville?"

"So no one could use his hair for the Polyjuice potion!"

Hermione rolled her eyes before turing them to the front of the room where Snape had just entered. Before Snape could say anything though, Draco spoke.

"Proffesor, great minds think alike, right?"

Snape nodded. "Yes, and by the way, very well said Mr. Malfoy."

"That's why me and Hermione have the same answers for homework," Draco announced proudly.

Hermione was this close to banging her head repeatedly on the desk.

"See?" Parvarti turned to Lavendar. "That's another reason to be on Team Draco."

"Team Draco?" Harry spat as if he were offended. "You should be on Team Harry! I am the hero, after all."

Draco sneered at him

"Draco," Snape snapped. "Stop making ugly faces at the other students."

"Why?" Draco asked.

"Well, when I was your age, I was told that if I kept on making ugly faces my face would stay that way."

"Well, I can see you didn't listen."

A round of "Oooooooooooo you're in trouble" made it's way around the class.

Hermione decided then and there that this was going to be a long day. So, shutting out the completely radical comments everyone was spouting out, she thought of who would most likely be responsible for doing this (for she was now convinced it was a spell or charm of some kind). She came up with two people.

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><p>"FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY, STOP RIGHT THERE!"<p>

The Weasley twins, who have been described as the human Bludgers, knew they were in trouble. But the way to convince someone you didn't do something, was to feign innocence. Which is exactly what they did.

"Hermione," Fred said with an incredibly large and fake smile.

"What can we do for you on this fine day?" George asked with an equally large and equally fake smile to that of his twin.

"Ha!" Hermione said with smug smile on her face. "I knew you were behind this!"

They didn't even have to ask what she was talking about.

"We have," Fred started.

"A good reason," Georger finished.

"And what might that be?" Hermione inquired.

Both the twins eyes widened.

"You don't remember," George began.

"What day it is?" Fred ended.

"Why would today be important?" Hermione asked, totally and completely confused.

"Hermione Granger, we are ashamed!" Fred gasped.

"How could you forget such a day like this?" George asked as if it were a major scandal.

"We may never speak to you again!" They both announced sounding highly offended.

"What day is it?" Hermione screamed at them.

"Our birthday, of course," they stated calmly.

_That's what I forgot this morning_, Hermione mentally scolded herself. "And what does everyone acting insane and out of character have to do with your birthday?"

"It's our present," George said.

"To each other," Fred added.

"And if you hadn't slept in," George continued, but couldn't resist adding "Naughty, naughty."

"Then you would have been affected too," Fred explained.

"We made the charm,"

"With Dumbledore,"

"Last week," they finished together.

Hermione was shocked. "Dumbledore knows about all this?"

The Weasley twins nodded in perfect sync.

"You, him and us are the only ones not affected," Fred said proudly.

"When we suggested the idea to him," George also said proudly, "he couldn't have been more estatic to help."

"Why would he want to help you with a scheme like this?" Hermione asked.

They shrugged. "He's Dumbledore."

Hermione sighed. "Point taken. How long is this going to last?"

"Everyone will be saying something ridiculous until diner time," Fred told her.

"But after that is an hour of everyone telling their deepest wants," George whispered smugly.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Deepest wants?"

"Yep. Wants as in your deepest, darkest, most secret wants to something you want but have never gotten," George explained.

"Like Dumbledore," Fred eloborated. "He wants a pair of socks, but he hasn't gotten any yet."

Seeing the look on Hermione's face, they asked "Think you can handle the weirdness until dinner?"

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope," they replied gleefully.

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><p>"Tom Riddle knows everything about everyone," Harry was saying to whoever would listen. "That's why his chamber's so big; it's full of secrets."<p>

The Slytherins were now all singing a parody of a song; the parody being "Slytherin Night". The Ravenclaws were saying anything that wasn't logical. The Hufflepuffs were blabbering on about double rainbows. And the Gryffindors were cracking jokes about whatever they could think of.

Hermione was ready to kill herself. Not literally, metaphorically.

"No," Draco snapped at Pansy, Blaise and Goyle. "I can't do it."

Snape had overheared this and upon doing so said "Coward! Ten points from Gryffindor!"

Hermione held her head in her hands. She just had to get throught dinner, then an hour of people spilling their secrets, and then all would be normal again. But that didn't stop her from mentally cursing the twins.

"I want to go to bed," she groaned.

It was just her luck that Draco heared that, because he responded with "Can I Slytherin?" and a smirk.

Hermione resisted the strong urge to stick her tongue out at him and settled on rolling her eyes instead. Then she heard the twins.

"Hey, Mione," they called out. "It's time." They both grinned evilly.

As if recieving a cue from the boys, which he probably had, Dumbledore stood at his podium.

"Everyone," he announced, "it's time you looked inside yourselves and figured out what it is that you really want."

No one thought this was odd, because they were still under the effects of the charm.

"I want to have a family and a new pair of glasses," Harry yelled out.

"I want my parents back and to pass Potions," Neville called out.

And so it went on. Some were crazy all around, other's were touching. Not one was shocking to Hermione. Until Draco opened his mouth.

"I want Hermione Granger and a rocketship!"

No one had really heard him for they were all still blabbing their most secret and not so secret desires. But Hermione had heard him, and that made all the difference.

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><p><em>A few years later...<em>

"Fred and George Weasley," a threating voice said from behind them.

They were at a wedding reception, one of the best places to pull pranks (mainly on the groom's friends, but teasing their own friends was fun as well). But really, there isn't one place in the world where Fred and George Weasley could not get into trouble in some way, shape or form. That was for certain.

They turned to see Hermione, looking much the same as she had that fateful day almost five years ago, except for the fact that she was all decked out in her wedding dress and such.

"Hermione," Fred said with a look of fake innocence on his face.

"What can we do for you this fine day?" George asked with the huge fake smile plastered on his face.

"I forgot to tell you," Hermione began in a way that sounded like scolding. The twins decided to intervene.

"We're sorry," they said together, "we can't hear you over how awesome we am."

Hermione gave each of them an unexpected hug before saying "That's what I was going to tell you." Then she walked back over to her husband: the one and only Draco Malfoy.

"We are awesome," George thought aloud.

"I know, right?" Fred replied with a dopey grin on his face. "How long do you think it's going to take for Parkison and Zabini to realize it's one of our charmed tarts?"

"Right about," George began before a shriek and a manly scream interupted him.

"Now," the Weasley twins said together.

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><p><strong>So, that was my birthday present myself. I'm now officially fourteen! Whoooo! Party! Anyway...<strong>

**This story wrote itself, so sorry if it seems weird. The idea popped into my head, along with another thing I'll write later on. But, thanks for reading! :D**


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